Why relationships just aren’t what they used to be.

According to National figures, statistics from 2012 show that in England and Wales 42% of marriages end in divorce. When you compare that to a considerably lower figure of 22% dating back from 1970 it is clear that long lasting relaionships are in the decline.

As time evolves, so do people’s attitutdes especially regarding the once tabboo topic of love, marriage and relationships. It is no longer a tabboo to have many relationships before mariage nor is it frowned upon to get a divorce.

As well as the attitude towards relationships changing, the expectations once in a relationship have slowly changed with time. As we continue to advance in technolgy we are constatly expecting and wanting more. We are a nation of high hopes and even higher standards. The downfall being that naturally we are never satisfied.

The main difference between relationships now and relationships from fifty years ago, is that fifty years ago love, relationships and marriage meant for life. If you had a problem you would do everything possible to work through it. People accepted each others flaws and got on with it.

We always want more. It’s human nature. You get a brand new Ford fiesta, it looks the part, gets you from A to B so you take it home and you’re happy. But then a few years down the line you see the brand new ford fiesta x. It’s got everything your old car had plus more. And this one doesn’t have the glitch your old car had. Suddenly you realise you dont want your old car anymore you want this new one. We are constantly on the look out for what is new. What is better, never satisfied with what we have. The same can be said for relationships, we jump from one to the next. Instead of trying to sit down and work out why the last one failed we move on to the next one. Why? Because we can.

Personally I think lots of relationships dont work because we dont give them time to work. We are constantly looking for the quick fix. It is a sign of the modern age. We are living in the fast lane, always wanting more and wanting it now. We expect everything to happen fast and that includes love. But the only problem is, you cant rush love. Love is something which takes time. It takes time to get to know someone and you cant get to know someone if you spend more time talking on facebook than you do in real life. Nowadays instead of making time to see someone in person, we skype. Instead of talking face to face we text. Technology is great but the downside is that we are loosing a key component of communication.The physical and emotional connection is lost.

As a generation we have become too complacent with taking shortcuts and doing what is easy. When it comes to love. You get out what you put in. If you put nothing in to the relationship then you will almost certainly get nothing out of it.

Online dating and social media have revolutionalised the world of dating by making it posible to meet people without having to even leave your house. People have the security of knowing that if your relationship fails you no longer have to put the hard work in to find another one thanks to the likes of social networking. Making it not only easy but convinient for the ever changing and fast paced lifestyles we are living in.

Lust is a big factor contributing to failure in relationships. Online dating encourages people to meet soley based on looks. Looks do not last forever and so when people get into realationships based on appearance rather than personalty it is a recipe for disater. If a relationship is based purely on physical attracton,then what will keep you together when you grow old?

Ultimately. There are many reasons why relationships breakdown. Most things which break can be fixed, but there are some things that cant be fixed, because they shouldn’t be.

Sometimes you just can’t be together anymore because you shouldn’t be.
And that’s ok.

Whoever you get with and whoever you don’t, make sure they make you happy because life is way too short to be sad.




2 thoughts on “Why relationships just aren’t what they used to be.

  1. My parents have been married for almost 60 years. I’ve learned that the secret to a long marriage wasn’t love. It was economic dependence. I think fewer marriages last because more women are working. When the marriage doesn’t support them, they have more of a choice to stay or build a life that supports them. My mother had to overlook infidelity and emotional abuse to stay married all those years. I just don’t think that’s something to be proud of.

    1. I agree. Divorce is no longer a taboo and women are no longer dependant on a man for financial security and social acceptance. I’m guessing 60 years ago it would have been frowned upon to not be married and raise a child as a single parent, just as it would be expected to put up with violence and unhealthy behaviours. I guess the main thing is people no longer have to stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being stigmatised.

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